Thursday, April 1, 2010

Hollywood Values vs. Washington Values

It’s easy for politicians to run against Hollywood. Like AM talk-show jocks, some politicians dearly love to play off people’s resentments. And who’s safer to resent than Hollywood stars? I mean, what a fat target.

Hollywood stars have more money than we do. They have personal assistants and we don’t. They have all day to look beautiful while we have to be at work. They’re more creative. They’re better looking. They’re slimmer. They enjoy their work. When they go out in public, people notice them, not like we, who fade into the wallpaper.

So resentment against Hollywood is an easy sell if you want to score political points. And when politicians get really desperate, like, say when their popularity hits the 20s and only the most gullible still believe a word they say, well, the long knives come out for Hollywood.

In the upcoming election season, expect an escalation in excoriating “Hollywood values.” So, let’s take a close look at these “Hollywood values.” And let’s compare them to “Washington values.”

In Hollywood, for example, it’s common for people to be so absorbed in their jobs that they work long hours. When I was writing on-the-set features, I marveled that, at midnight, the lights would still be on at the Paramount lot. Inside. Washington’s lights burn only outside after dark. Heads would be rolling at Paramount.

In Hollywood, people participate in a collaborative art form. They work together to solve problems. Take a look at the credits at the end of a typical movie; they run on and on and on and on. When was the last time you heard about collaboration in Washington? Abraham Lincoln brought together a “team of rivals,” as historian Doris Kearns Goodwin noted. These guys in Washington can’t even agree that it’s wrong to take a bribe, give people the same healthcare plans that they themselves get, or subsidize former soldiers’ college educations.

In Hollywood, you have to stay on budget. Sure, some “auteurs” go off the deep end once in a blue moon and create the occasional Heaven’s Gate or Golden Compass. But studios keep a close eye on every dollar. Contrast that with contemporary Washington. Who was watching that missing millions that disappeared off the trucks in Baghdad? Who keeps track of private defense contractors? Who totaled up the cost of that drug prescription bill? Imagine a Hollywood project being green-lighted this way.

In Hollywood, people have to get creative to solve problems. The scene’s not making it? Rewrite! The set doesn’t look right? Scrap it! The actor can’t cut it? Replace! When was the last time you saw Washington people get creative to solve problems? What would happen, for example, if the government mandated that all federal-fleet vehicles had to earn 40 mpg by the year 2012? Don’t you think that would force Detroit automakers to put thousands of engineers, builders and auto assembly-line workers back on the payrolls?

In Hollywood, the studios bow to the will of the public; the only criterion that matters is whether or not the public buys the product. Maybe the squeamish studio heads don’t want to make another Saw movie. So what? The people obviously want to see one and were eager (at least until they got sick of them) to plunk down money at the box office. That’s democracy in action. Contrast that with Washington values: In November 2006 and 2008, the people voted to get us out of the mess in Iraq. They sent the message: Iraq is box office poison. And so what happens? The military strategists ordered a sequel in Afghanistan. What kind of studio boss would keep his job throwing good money after bad?

In Hollywood there is attention to detail. One cannot imagine Brad Pitt’s agent, for example, not checking every line in Mr. Pitt’s movie contracts. Not the case in D.C. How many Senators voted to pass the Patriot Act without even reading it? Don’t these people have people?

In Hollywood, people leave others alone when it comes to their sexual proclivities. Nobody cares what you do in your bedroom as long as you show up for work on time and the public buys tickets. In Washington, your representatives get way too interested in each other’s sexual adventures. Heck, they even tried to overturn an election over some hanky-panky.

And here’s the final Hollywood value Washington ought to embrace. Success. You can criticize Hollywood all you like but the fact is more people than ever are watching Hollywood’s products on television, listening to Hollywood’s music, going to Hollywood’s movies and paying higher prices for them than ever before.

By contrast, Washington is creating its own product these days and how that’s going? Heck, not even the hix in the stix are buying the tix.

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